You would not believe the trouble I had finding you, my missing blog. I searched everywhere and of all the places. Who would have thought it!!!! Sorry that i just left you here to your own thoughts. It has been pretty rough lately for our family. First, my own small family has been dealing with some things that hopefully over. It is so easy to sometimes stop doing what works. Me and Katie both know how important God is in our life. We want our son to know God. To walk with Him, and take refuge in Him. With the world becoming what it is, God is our only chance. I could give plenty of excuses(even some that we actually believe) as to why we might stay home on Sunday. Somebody sick, studying, stayed up to late so now we cant get up,even the Saints game. We read when we first got married, actually before, about how either you grow together toward God or you grow apart. In our case, we grew apart. We would be at least friendly while John Austin is awake, but once he went to bed, it got ice cold and really, really quiet. This has been going on for a few months. Not either one of our faults individually but both our faults together. Well, God is back in His rightful place and things are getting better already. I hope it it will be a lesson we both learn now so we don't have a repeat or worse later on.
Well, in case you missed it, this year is almost over. If you blinked, you were already in June and if you yawned, it was Thanksgiving. This has been a really good year for me. Besides the obvious things, there are a lot of internal positives that came also. My year started out in a Drug Rehab Center. For most, that would be a terrible place to start the a new year. I can't even begin to tell you how blessed I was for being in that center when this year started. By all earthly reasons, I should have started it behind some rusty, cold, hard metal doors. I should have started this year with one change of clothes and with no fireworks or black eyed peas or anything like that. God is so amazing. I know that I do not deserve the mercy or grace that He has put towards my way. I still have along way to go. Most of us do, but I do know that one year ago, I was not in the same spiritual, mental, or physical condition that I am today, even though I might could have gone without being in the "physical condition" that I am right now. I might not have paid off any bills in the last twelve months and I am quite sure I actually started a few hundred dollars worth of new ones, but to know that God is working and there is NO other explanation that could be given, it really humbles you. Makes me realize just how much effort I am really putting into it. I do not know what the next year has in store but I do know that God will be there with me every step of the way. And as I look back on the the past year, I can praise Him all over again for the miracles, and that's what they were, that He performed in my life and my family's life.
Thank God for books. I am so thankful for those small print books. The ones in which I can escape my life. I know I can get so sick of the bills and the problems and the stress of life and all that goes with it. I haven't always been an avid reader but lately I have gotten more and more into them. It is so nice to be able to lay in the bed and be somebody else. Its great to escape and start in the middle of a someone else's life. One that has no responsibilities attached to it. I've never received a phone call from not one of the bill collector's of my characters in any book I have read. That is so nice. Nor do I ever have to do anything physical in any of the books I have read.( I know, I know, I am lazy huh) The best part about reading is that in the books I read(spy, lawyer type, fiction books), the good guy always wins. He might die, but its to save the world, or to save some family from some heartache. Wouldn't it be nice if in the life we led, good would always win over evil. The little guy would always triumph over the big man on campus. Don't get me wrong, We have our moments in this life too. Its not always bad but it seems to always be a battle between good and bad with good not always prevailing in every situation. I know that in the big picture, we as Christians will win in the end, which is very reassuring, but in the mean time, I guess I'll have to settle for good as it happens, and read more books!!!
Tonight, as I sat there feeding my son, I started to wonder what thoughts go through God's head. I mean, my son was really wanting to be fed. He only depends on me for food and I knew what it was he was wanting. As I held him in my arms, he saw me make the bottle and he absolutely went crazy for it. Once we sat down in the glider, he was so happy that I was about to give him that bottle. And then it happened like it mostly does, he finished his bottle and was so full, he was able to rest. I began to wonder if God sees it the same way with us. We might really be struggling and going through all sorts of storms and God knows what we need. Like my son, we might not even know what we need at that time. He is waiting there, bottle in hand, to fill us with His love and give us the only thing that can quench our thirst. I hope God feels as rewarded as I do when my son is full, sound asleep on my chest. What a feeling that is! And then the thought hit me that it is only then that I am at total peace with the world and all the chaos that is in this world seems to slowly fade away. If you are like me, sometimes this life can seem so unfair and so crazy. It is so easy to get caught up in the commotion. Thank God we have those moments of rest. Those moments of being fully filled with His love.
Well, today is Election Day. I know there are already a million views on this but mine is different. For most of you, this is just another day to choose between the lesser of two evils. I have to admit that I am not totally happy with either one of the to candidates winning. I do believe more along the lines of McCain on the major issues even though I don't believe he has it totally right either. Today, I am proud to say, was my first time to ever vote. I know most of you have been voting for along time and might even criticize me for voting just for the first time in this election. As the famous voice says, "And now, the rest of the story." You see, I am voting for the first time this election because this is the first election I am allowed to vote in. Not because of my age, I am 25,(26 on the 11th for my sisters if you forgot) but because of some of my past actions that made it illegal for me to vote. More on that another day. Many people take voting for granted. I actually feel like I have done something worth wild. I mean, I am not so naive that I think my one little vote can make that much difference but it makes me proud to be an American. Lots of people died and many families hurt in order that I have that right to vote like I did today. I am proud of the fact that I have made it through some tough times in my life and it just feels good to be able to do something that everyone else gets to do.. It makes me feel like I have some say so in out government and what goes on in our country. Ok, so I know I don't have a say so in what really going on in our country but at least now when I complain about what is going on, I ll actually have a right to do that!!!!
Well, here I am, doing something I said I would never do. Its not that I didnt think it would be nice to blog, I just really didnt think I had anything to offer to the world in terms of exciting things. My life is just very, I dont know, boring comes to mind. I have always enjoyed the world of blogging. My sisters are daily bloggers, most of the time. I know I cant compare to them, but maybe you can get to know me better this way. I am not the type of person that is easily read or easily figured out. I feel complex but probably, in truth, am not. I have done many things, most of which I am not real proud of. I have also been many places that most people have not, not that you would actually envy me in most cases. But the neat thing about it all is this. Today, I am actually right where I believe God wants me. Maybe not in terms of my spiritual life because, atleast in my case, there is always room for growth there. I guess the reason I am starting this blog is to share with my family and friends how their prayers and mine have been answered and to give some insight into, well me, I guess. Maybe some of this can help someone, maybe it won't, but one thing is for sure. God has allowed me to go through the storms that have been in my life and not only go through them, but prosper through them. As with alot of people, I should not even have the chance to be forgiven but I am. Hence the name of my blog, God has cast my sins as far as the east is to the west, and in my case, thats alot of casting. Til next time.